When West Meets Alternate East
by auroraminamino
Summary: For the first time for me the full summery is inside! I hope you all like it. Its a bit angsty because of how Kowalski is feeling guilty a good amount of time, but don't worry hes OK.


_~Kowalski has created a revolutionary device! Its something that will let him have verbal contact with people of other dimensions when its complete. While working to finish this new gizmo, something goes wrong and Private literally disappears right in front of the scientific penguin! The three penguins are frantic to find their forth and Kowalski feels very guilty. Is Young Private lost forever or does Kowalskis 'Interdenominational Telephone' work better then even he thought?~_

***When West Meets Alternate East***

Its a day off for Team Penguin and they are all in their HQ doing their own things. Private is in front of the TV waiting for his favorite show to come on, Rico is playing with his Miss Perky and Skipper is looking at himself in the mirror donning different disguises and gauging them according to how macho they are. All the while Kowalski was in a far corner working on some calculations for his newest invention that was still under construction. He smiled broadly when he finished, as they had taken him all morning and they were extremely difficult.

"Well, it looks like someone is making some progress on something." said Skipper as he donned his favorite cowboy hat.

"You have no idea Skipper, trust me." Kowalski replied

"Of course I don't I'm not a nerd." Skipper joked back.

"No, your a cowboy and that's so much better." Kowalski shot back with sarcasm.

"Oh, nice!" said Rico giggling.

"I think Kowalski won that round Skipper." said Private with a laugh.

"Lucky for me I don't keep score." said Skipper without missing a beat. He then got back to his little dress up project.

"No, but Rico does!" thought both Private and Kowalski grinning as they watched him take a score sheet out of his feathers and mark Kowalskis victory down. Now they were tied, one-hundred-fifty to one-hundred-fifty. Hard earned, especially for Kowalski.

"Well, I'm off to the lab." said Kowalski

"Have fun and don't blow yourself up." said Skipper waving at him.

"I'll try not to." said Kowalski lamely, unable to think of anything this time. Rico sighed and marked that on his score card.

"And Skipper take the lead." said Private as he shut the TV off. Kowalski tilted his head at him. "Its an episode that I've seen so many times even I'm tired of it." Private shrugged.

"Ah well, you can help me then if you want."

"Yay! I haven't done that in a long time." said Private

"Have fun boys." said Skipper as they walked into the hallway. "One episode down ninety nine to go and we won't have to listen to those TV moon horses ever again!" thought Skipper as he reset the (tweaked by Kowalski) TiVo to play the next episode on the list in a loop at that time. When they entered the lab Private had to stop and stare at the back wall, as the entire wall was lined with a machine of some kind. A very complicated machine.

"What is that?" Private asked in amazement.

"My latest and greatest invention, that as of yet doesn't have a name."

Private gave him a look: "No name?"

Kowalski shook his head.

"Sometimes it seems that you have names at the ready and your just waiting for the right gizmo to put them to."

Kowalski cleared his throat awkwardly then quickly said "So, do you want to know what my new masterpiece does?"

"Sure, then maybe we can put a name to it." said Private with a chuckle. Kowalski grinned at him.

"Well in a nutshell, this techno beauty will allow us to talk to people from other dimensions!" Kowalskis voice went high as he spoke. Also, he looked a little giddy.

"Wow, you really out did yourself this time!" said Private "How did you find time to design and build this thing?"

"Well, I actually designed it a while ago. When my head was, I think you used the word, 'bulbous' -(Private grinned)- As to building it, I just did it here and there. Basically I worked on it anytime I needed something different to do." Kowalski shrugged

"Your hoping to have it done today?" asked Private

"Yes, cross your flippers!" Kowalski replied making an **X** with his wings. Private laughed and did the same. Then they did a strange **X**'ed high five and laughed. "Alright, this thing is going to need some adjustments and maybe a few more components and it should be finished." said Kowalski

"Then lets get started." Private replied The two then started towards their project.

"So, think of a name yet?" Kowalski asked out of no where.

"No, but its a good one and its coming. I can feel it!" Private answered

"That's what I like to hear!" They then picked up their speed.

For a pretty long time all the two penguins did was adjust things to Kowalskis precise specifications. Some things only needed to be tweaked a bit, while other things had to be moved a lot. Private did all the ones that he could reach just as Kowalski told him. For the things that he couldn't Kowalski did himself. It got a bit tidies after a while, but they did it all. Skipper called them out for lunch and a little topside face time with the slow 'Fun Day' Monday crowed, but as soon as they could they were right back in the lab putting the final components on the new machine.

Kowalski had Private go and get the last component from across the room while he put the last of his calculations to use: spreading the power he needed to run it throughout, so parts of it wouldn't overload, but at the same time other parts would be fully powered. He also had to be careful that the power he was using didn't gain any unwanted attention. Mostly it ran on electricity, though there was some Macguffium two-thirty-nine and other things in there too.

He was so absorbed in that, that he didn't remember to warn Private about a discarded tool that was on the floor. The component was a little on the big side and he as having a bit of trouble seeing where he was going. He tripped over the tool and fell on a part of the long table that part of the machine was sitting on. That's when Private saw that the machine was actually sitting on many small tables put together. Sadly this particular table wasn't at all secure like Kowalski thought it was. It fell down just as the part Private was carrying landed, oddly enough, right where it was suppose to. The part of the machine hit the floor and started sparking in a dangerous looking way.

"Hit the deck Private!" said Kowalski hitting what he thought was the power down lever, then also hitting the ground in case it exploded before it powered down completely. When nothing happened except a few sparks the two of them calmed down and got back up.

"Sorry about that Kowalski." said Private looking at the damage.

"Don't worry about it Private. Its my fault. I should have double checked that table to make sure that it was secure." Kowalski said with a shrug.

"Well, we better get this thing back to an up right position and get a good look at it. Perhaps its not to badly damaged right here." said Private

"Then I can fix that part if the long table. We just have to be careful, its still attached to the rest of my glorious gizmo after all." said Kowalski grinning.

Private laughed and said "I don't think that I ever heard you call something a 'gizmo' before."

"While I don't think that word is really me I had to try it out at least once." Kowalski replied

Private grinned at him as he bent down to pick up the portion of the gizmo that fell. Kowalski was on his way over.

Then Private said "Oh, and by the way I think I came up with a name for this-" It was then that Privates wings touched the machine segment. Instantly he was hit with an electrical surge. Kowalski had just enough time to gasp before there was a sizzling, then a pop and the young penguin was gone.

"NO!" shouted Kowalski paralyzed by what he just saw. His paralysis was immediately cured when he heard Skipper and Rico in the hallway behind him. Before they were around the bend Kowalski shut the door, locked it and was leaning back on it with his wings spread. He quickly looked over and saw that he had not hit the power down lever, he had hit his abacus that was right next to it. "Think Kowalski think!"he said to himself.

"Kowalski, whats going on in there?" came Skippers voice.

"You OK?" asked Rico

"I'm fine. Uh, something just fell." he answered

"How about Private?" asked Skipper Kowalski swallowed loudly, but didn't answer not knowing what to say. Meanwhile Skippers gut was telling him that something had gone very wrong and that he wanted to get in there. He tried to open the door to discover that it was locked. Kowalski, of course, had just done this and was now carefully backing away from the door. The tall penguin had just sighed with relief, thinking the other two had backed off when he heard Skipper again: "Rico!" and the next thing the three of them knew the door to the lab fell down, the top edge landing just in front of Kowalski feet. Before the dust was completely settled the two in the door, one of which was holding a spare stick of 'strike anywhere' dynamite, had looked the lab over and saw only there options guy. "Kowalski, where in the name of the TV moon horses is The Private?" asked Skipper in a freakishly calm voice.

"I don't know." Kowalski replied quietly.

**X X X**

Private slowly started coming to. Hearing a voice that was kind of high, but kind of low too. It was also a bit gravely. It was saying things like: 'Its time to get up. Come on young one.' that were supposed to get him to wake up. Private didn't recognize the voice, but he could tell that whoever was speaking was someone of a gentle nature. Perhaps it was a new vet. After all, what he laying on didn't feel like the floor of Kowalskis lab or his bunk. It was to smooth for the first and he was missing his pillow for the second. So perhaps he was laying on the counter at the veterinary station.

He opened his eyes, expecting to see some strange vet looking down at him, with possibly Shawna standing in the background. He wasn't expecting to be laying on a green marble floor, looking up at an ornately made hallway with a ceiling to match. From what he could see as it was a bit shadowy. What Private could also see reminded him of either a Chinese Dojo, where a Kung Fu Master would teach his students or a ye oldie Chinese palace. Also, up very high near the ceiling he saw who he assumed to be the one who had been trying to wake him. He couldn't tell what it was just then, but he could tell that it was green and pink in color. It was going in a circle, then it quickly and suddenly moved down to land on floor. There was a bit of a breeze when it did that and as Private quickly sat up he saw bits of pink fluttering around. Now there was a figure standing in the shadows, who Private couldn't quite make out, but could see that he may have been shaped like a big turtle?

Private got to his feet, blinked to clear his vision and to help his eyes adjust to the shadows and looked again. He even gave himself a sharp slap to make sure he wasn't dreaming before he confirmed what he was seeing. "Uh, why do you have a staff?" Private asked him.

"Walking stick." he replied with a good natured smile. Private returned it, then was surprised as this new acquaintance said "Follow me!" sharply and flew down the hallway.

Private did just that, via a belly slide, while thinking: "I wish Kowalski was here to see this."

Not long after this game of follow the leader start it ended as Privates guide suddenly turned into an open door. Private stopped at the door and picked up one of those pink things that he saw before: "A flower petal?" said Private as he picked it up. He then stepped into the room. His guide wasn't in there. "Hey, where did you go?" He then saw what kind of room he was in: "Ye oldie Chinese weapon storage?" said Private as he started walking around. "I found Ricos favorite room in this place." Private thought in an amused sort of way. He saw an open window with another pink petal sitting on it. Private flipped up onto the windowsill and picked this one up too. "Well, we know where my guide got off to." Private looked out the window, it was quite sunny out. "Chinese landscape. Its quite pretty." Private thought out loud while silently wondering what exactly happened back in Kowalskis lab.

He was suddenly snapped out of his thoughts as if Skipper had snuck up behind him and gave him a slap. He heard something in the hallway that was headed in his direction. He really didn't want to be found in here. He didn't want them, whoever they were, to think that he up to no good. If anything he wanted whoever lived here to think that he was the accidental interloper that he was.

"I know its me turn to get the weapons we are going to practice with. I'll meet you guys in The Training Yard!" said a strong sounding female voice.

Private couldn't tell what the speaker looked like from where he was. He was trying to sneak out of the room via the wall mounted weapons rack, so it was kind of hard to see. It was also very dusty. Something the young penguin didn't take into account when he decided to leave the room in this way. "Come on Private, hold it in!" he silently told himself as he felt a huge sneeze coming on. It was so bad that his eyes were watering. He tried shaking his head and dusting his beak off. But nothing doing: Private sneezed so hard that he not only lost his balance and fell right in front of the weapon gathering female, but he also knocked over the Chinese Halberd that was right in front of him. Private screamed when he realized what he did and put his wings over his eyes. When nothing happened he looked and saw that the Halberd was being put back into its spot on the wall.

He then looked to see who was putting it back and saw a bangle tiger in a red Chinese style top and black pants of the same type standing on her hind legs. Private could tell it was a girl because of the shape of her eyes. She had the look that she spent most of her time in an up right position, kind of like Alex the loin.

"Thanks for that." said Private She nodded at him as he sat back up.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked calmly.

"I'm not exactly sure. Uh, I don't really know where I am." Private answered nervously.

"Your in The Jade Palace." she answered Private blinked at her. "In the Valley Of Peace?" she then said. He shrugged. "You really are lost."

"I'm not even sure how I got here."

She blinked at him this time: "Do you have amnesia?"

"No, but I know something weird happened to me earlier." Private answered Then he laughed and said "Its defiantly not the first time." He then gave her a good natured smile, (his best one) and asked "What's your name?"

"Tigress." she said "And yours?"

"Private." he replied

Tigress blinked at him again: "Your not going to tell me?"

He laughed again, not at her but at himself: "That's actually my name, Private."

"Your name is Private?"

"Yes, that's what I go by. Its also my rank Private First Class."

"The 'First Class' can just be a given right?" asked Tigress

Private nodded.

"What are you?"

"A penguin, a cold water bird. We swim, no fly."

"Oh."

They both heard a strange clinking sound coming down the hall. Realizing just now how jumpy he was Private automatically spun around and got into the Pose Of The Crane just as the clicking stopped at the door. He froze like that and blinked rapidly as he and an actual crane wearing a straw hat stared at each other. A second later someone else walked into the doorway . . . Was that a panda?

"Guys we have to -Crane what are you staring at?" said the slightly larger the average praying mantis on the pandas shoulder. They both turned and saw Private.

"Well, it looks like I'm not the only warrior of black and white around here anymore." said the panda grinning.

"Is this a new student?" asked the blue eyed snake that came next. She (Private could tell by the voice) had been curious about what the others were doing and had seen the penguin still in The Crane Stance without realizing it. She noticed that his eyes got a bit bigger when he saw her.

"I doubt it. He doesn't where he is or how he got here." Tigress said from behind him.

A sudden laugh made them all jump, Private nearly lost his balance so he stood down on The Crane Stance. They all looked up at the top of the doorway and saw a large black faced monkey sitting on the rafter just above it. His tail was wrapped around the rafter for balance. "A small bird doing The Crane at a crane! That's good stuff!" he laughed Private didn't say anything but he thought that he sounded like the big name Kung Fu Master and actor Jackie Chan. Once everyone thought about it they all laughed too.

"This is a penguin that goes by the title of Private, First Class is a given." explained Tigress "I did not know that he knew Kung Fu."

"I'm surprised you didn't Kung Fu him when you saw him in here." said the panda "Considering you think that the mail man has been planning something for thirty years." With that Private burst into a sudden fit of laughter.

"Uh, Private hes not kidding." said Tigress

Private calmed but continued to giggle as he spoke: "I didn't think that he was. Its just that the line reminded me of my C/O Skipper. He can be quite paranoid."

"So can she." said the mantis

"Yeah, they would be good friends. It just struck me as funny for some reason. So what are all your names?" Private then said.

"Mantis."

"Viper."

"Crane."

"Po."

Private chuckled at the last speaker: "I was expecting you to say Panda for a second there."

"Well I do get called that a lot." Po replied

"You'll understand when it happens." said Tigress grinning. "Anyway, I also didn't go after him because a Halberd nearly fell on him. Plus his pudgy cuteness doesn't make him look at all like much of a threat."

"I'm afraid that I'm stronger then I look." he said grinning at Tigress.

"So am I buddy!" said Mantis jumping off Pos shoulder and landing next to Private. "Up high man!" Mantis put his spiky appendage up.

"You guys do that too? Nice!" Private then shared a high five with Mantis.

"'You guys do that too.' What does that mean?" asked Crane

"That just surprise me. My Rookery and I do that all the time." Confused looks followed Privates answer. "A group of penguins." He then said.

"Oh." all but Tigress said.

"Hey, lets talk and give Private a tour at the same time." said Po Then he came over and picked them both up, putting Mantis on one shoulder and Private on the other. Then they started walking down the long hallway.

"Do you not like snakes?" asked Viper

"Oh, sorry. Its just that I was temporarily eaten by a snake on more then one occasion. Sorry if I made a scared face at you Viper." Private said

"Uh, I don't get it." said Po

"It was the same giant constrictor each time." said Private

"Oh wow!" said Po "Well anyway, can you tell us about your paranoid friend Skipper and your other friends?"

"If you like." answered Private Tigress shrugged as if she was indifferent, but the others looked intrigued.

**X X X**

"And that's everything that happened." said Kowalski He had just told them what happened in the lab and he was now waiting for them to explode at him.

"Hm, it sounds to me that instead of building what you wanted to build, you ended up building a teleporter. Which is an awesome and very useful thing, assuming that you can make it work both ways and just as long as you didn't accidentally send him to Denmark of course." said Skipper

"Uh-" said Kowalski

"Anyway, considering that this happened on accident with what you scientific nerd-lets -(Skipper patted Kowalski on the head)- call a prototype he probably never got beyond the zoos perimeter wall and if he did he probably immediately made for the duck pond. He loves those ducklings and he hasn't seen them in a while." Skipper continued

"Hope so!" said Rico

Kowalski relaxed now that he knew that the two of them weren't mad at him. So he let himself be slightly irritated that Skipper used the 'nerd-lets' line of him again and he had no counter for it.

"Alright Kowalski, you stay here and try to make sense of this techno gobbledygook (he pointed at the damaged segment of machine that was still on the floor) while Rico and I look for Young Private." said Skipper with a confident grin.

"Sounds like a plan." said Kowalski He glanced at the machine, feeling a bit unsure for some reason.

But Skipper gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and said "Don't start over thinking this thing." Grinned again then left.

Kowalski shook himself out of his little funk and shared a departing and encouraging high five with Rico just before he followed Skipper out. Kowalski then turned to the machine and said "Alright technology, prepare to submit to the will of the team tech! Resistance is futile!"

"Rico, you take half of the zoo and I'll take half. If we don't find him then we meet back at HQ, then we will look in the park." said Skipper when the two penguins were topside.

"Right!" Rico replied

"Move out!" said Skipper

The two then went in different directions: One of the things that happened was Skipper went to Joey the kangaroos place. He jumped up onto the wall and said "Hey Joey, you don't have Private in there do you?" He got a quick look at the habitat before Joey threw his ball at him. He was knocked off the wall and the ball landed back in the habitat. "Guess not. Thanks for your time!"

Rico went to Marlenes at some point and saw that she had a guest. A snail from the park named Dale. Who had mistakenly gone after Private for stepping on him. He and the snail later became friends when it was clear that it wasn't him, but he hated Kowalski. Him being the one who had stepped on him with a huge tech suit: The Next-to-skeleton!

"Hey Rico!" said Marlene

"Rico my man!" said Dale

Rico waved at him. "You seen Private?" he asked Marlene.

"No, but I'm sure hes around. You guys have a mission or something?"

Rico shrugged trying to seem vague.

"Don't tell me the science penguin blew him sky high or something." said Dale

"Course not." grunted Rico

"He better not have or I'll have the apes get him."

"Uh, I think hes at Ring tails! Yeah, that's it!" Rico said quickly, trying to protect Kowalski from the spiteful snail.

"Yeah, didn't he have a play date with Mort today?" said Marlene

"Yeah, bye bye!" Rico said He used a belly slide to leave Marlenes and headed for the lemurs place. Rico was surprised to meet up with Skipper when he got there.

"You didn't find him?" he asked Rico shook his head. "Me neither."

"Oh, got an idea!" said Rico He then sped off on his way to get the broaches in on the search.

"Great, now I get to be the one to deal with Ring tail." said Skipper heading into the habitat. When he went to where Julian was, sitting at the Tiki Bar with Maurice, he was surprised to see that the two of them didn't look happy. "Whats wrong with you two?" asked Skipper

"Morts more annoying when hes sad!" said Julian

Skipper found Mort moping over on the bouncy. "Whats wrong Extremely Sad Eyes?" Skipper asked

"The Private was supposed to come over and play with me and he didn't show up." said Mort "Did he forget?"

"Doubt it." Skipper replied

"Where is he?"

"Uh, we don't know. We were hoping that you guys had seen him." said Skipper feeling a bit awkward. Mort gave him a sad look. "Chin up little soldier, we'll find him!" Mort smiled at him, Skipper grinned back.

Later Skipper and Rico were back on their island being told by the broaches that they couldn't find him either.

"Thanks for trying guys." Rico told them just before they left.

"Well, lets dust off the air planes and do a couple park fly overs." suggested Skipper

Rico nodded and grunted: "and Kowalski?"

"He might need a break from the lab. We'll have him come with us." answered Skipper

They opened the hatch and jumped into HQ. A second later there was an explosion from the lab and Kowalski came tumbling out, smoking a little. He shook his head and looked over at the other two when they asked if he was OK. To them he looked a little wobbly. The scientist ignored the question and asked "Did you find him?"

"No, we are going to take the planes out and comb the park. I was going to have you come too, but now I'm ordering you to have some bed rest." said Skipper

"What happened?" asked Rico

"I tried to get it done before you got back. It backfired." Kowalski answered looking unsure again. Skipper and Rico looked at each other.

**X X X**

The Furious Five and Po were sitting around The Jade Palace reflecting pool. They were watching Private as he swam around in it. Just a moment ago he was sitting next to Po and Tigress, finishing up on telling them all about his team and the others. He was careful when he talked about Rico and he didn't tell them anything that was classified. Then Monkey snuck up behind him and pushed him in! Then he laughed his tail off and said "You don't know how long I have been waiting to do that to someone!"

Private laughed too, did a few laps, a flip, then jumped out and shook himself off: "Jokes on you Monkey, I was in the mood for a swim." Everyone laughed.

"Your a quick one!" said Mantis

Private shrugged.

"Your dry already?" asked Crane

"Nearly water proof feathers." said Private

"You may not fly through the air, but you fly through the water. Fascinating swimming method." said Tigress

"Thanks." said Private "So, I noticed that there are Kung Fu artifacts in here."

"Oh yeah, we were going to give you a tour!" said Po "Lets go." The first thing they showed him was a sword: "This is The Sword Of Heroes. You might want to be careful around it though."

"Why?" asked Private as he gently put his wing on it to check its craftsmanship.

"Well, they say that it can cut you just by looking."

"I guess it likes him instead of you Po." said Mantis with a laugh. Po gave him a look. The next item that Private saw was The Urn Of Whispering Warriors.

"Why is it called that?" asked Private

"Because it actually whispers." said Viper

Private carefully jumped up onto it pedestal next to it and put the side of head on it. "I don't hear anything." he said

"That's because Po is in the room." said Monkey while the others sniggered. Private looked at Po.

"I kind of broke it once or twice. I think its scared of me." said Po shrugging.

"That explains the slight roughness." thought the young penguin. "Did you try apologizing to it?" Private asked with a wink.

Po grinned: "No, but I'll try that the next time we get some alone time together." Private laughed. "Now this one over here is really cool!" said Po as he led the way to another artifact.

The glow of candles got Privates attention. He looked over and saw a longish pedestal that had a lot of candles on it and a familiar looking walking stick. Above that on the wall was a painting. Private gasped: "Its him!" he shouted without meaning to. Everyone jumped slightly, except for Tigress. Then they all came to see what he was pointing a wing at. They were surprised and confused.

"That would be a painting of Master Oogway. He was The Master of The Jade Palace before I was." said someone new. The Five and Po quickly spun around looking alarmed.

Private found out soon enough: "Master Shifu!" they all said at the same time. Private walked to a place where he could see past Po and saw a red panda in a robe. He had such a feel of authority about him that Private thought that even Skipper would take notice. He saw Private and acknowledge him with a nod. Private bowed to him in the same fashion that the others often did. He couldn't think of anything else to do. Plus he was a bit nervous. Shifu grinned at him.

"Could someone explain our feathery guest?" Shifu asked He didn't sound angry, which surprised his students because they were supposed to be weapons training right now. Tigress told him what happened in the weapons room and what they had been doing. She shrugged when he asked her why Private had yelled when he saw Master Oogways painting. Private explained that and received a skeptical look. Actually more then one, but he only noticed the one from Shifu. When his gut told him to -("Thank you, Skipper." he thought)- he took the two flower petals out of his feathers and showed them to everyone.

The looks stopped when he said "I didn't see the plant these belong to. I haven't been outside. I woke up in the hallway like I said." finished Private That's when Private noticed that the petals had a calm type feeling coming from them. The others seemed to somehow recognize it and he could somehow tell that they knew he wasn't making anything up.

"Just one quick question. You didn't see a fox about Shifus size around, did you?" Po still couldn't help to ask.

Private shook his head.

"OK, good just checking." said Po

"The fox would be an enemy of ours and he is very tricky." said Shifu giving Po a almost annoyed look, to which he shrugged.

"So is Oogway, uh-?" Private felt like he was in touchy territory.

Shifu nodded.

"Oh, sorry!" Now Private was a bit confused about before, but didn't say anything.

"Its fine." said Shifu

"I know . . . " said Private He went over to, the word shrine popped into his head, jumped up onto it, put the petals there, bowed like before, then went back to the others.

"That's a very nice gesture Private." said Shifu Private grinned at him. "And it sounds to me like he was leading you. To make sure that you would be found." Shifu continued

"Hm." Private shrugged thoughtfully.

"Now all of you, including Young Private, come with me. Its time for training and I would like to see what he can do for myself." said Shifu as he turned and started walking.

Tigress put Private on her shoulder as they all went with Shifu. "Something wrong?" she asked him as his head was sightly tilted.

"No, but the only one that calls me that is Skipper." he said

"does it bother you?"

"No, just surprising. He doesn't seem like the nickname type."

"It must be because of your gesture and that he can tell that your younger then Po." said Tigress

"Hes good!" said Private Tigress grinned. "So, where are we going?"

"The Training Hall." said Shifu when they got there.

"Uh, Master Shifu? Are you sure about this?" asked Crane glancing at Private.

"Yes." he answered going in.

"Just be sure you watch out for the fire tubes." Po whispered

"Fire tubes?" asked Private as Po and the others went in. He was still perched on Tigress shoulder. When Private first saw The Training Hall he said "Whoa!" and thought "Shouldn't let Skipper see this place. He would train himself silly!" Shifu had Mantis go through the hall first so Private could see how it was done with the one that was the closest to his size. He of course made it through without a problem. "Wow, hes fast!" was all Private could say about that.

"Your turn." said Tigress

Private jumped off her shoulder and shook himself to loosen up. When he got to Mantis starting point, Private went from cute to almost angry in appearance. He wasn't of course, he was determined to make a good impression. Shifu snapped his fingers and Private was off through the hall. The only incident that happened was one of the fire tubes at the end got him up his back before he got out of them. "Whoa, that was close." said Private as he brushed off the half burnt feathers. Mantis tilted his head at him. "I have been molting for the last few days along with the others. I didn't need those feathers anyway." Private grinned "So how do you think I did?"

"You did awesome!" said Po as he and the others came over.

Shifu grinned at him in an approving way and said "Lets see what else you can do. To The Training Yard." They then started walking behind Shifu.

"Hes starting to remind me of Skipper." said Private

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing for you?" asked Crane

"Its good. I won't be nervous around him. Skippers tough during training, but pretty much a nice guy most of the time. Though he can be a bit grumpy." Private answered grinning.

"Hes starting to sound like a penguin version of Shifu." said Mantis

Private tried to hold in a laugh, but saw Shifus ear turn. "Uh, of course I mean the comparison as a compliment." Private said quickly. They went into The Training Yard for some sparing practice.

"Do you and your team spar?" asked Viper

"Yeah, sometimes." answered Private He then thought "So much for my day off." Private stood to the side next to Shifu for a while and watched. Every once in a while he would look up at him to see if he liked what he was seeing or not. Most of the time he couldn't tell either way. It was always after the match that he would comment on anything. Private got matched up with Mantis for his first match. He did alright, but admitted that he of course wasn't a Master.

"Your higher then Level zero at least." said Po Shifu chuckled at him. Private gave him a questioning look.

"That's the level that Po invented when he first got here." said Shifu

Again Private tried not to laugh and said "Hey at least Po was honest."

"Yeah, painfully honest." said Monkey Everyone laughed.

"Well, I think I made it look good." said Po laughing.

Later Shifu matched Private against Po to see how he handles opponents much bigger then himself. Po looked more nervous then he did, as Private only came up to Pos knee and he didn't want to hurt him. "Its not that I think your bad or anything, its that I know Mantis, not you."

"Understandable." said Private

"Take it easy on him Private, he looks pretty scared!" said Mantis A good amount of sniggering followed. Private laughed, but didn't say anything.

Po made a face at Mantis, then got into a stance to let Shifu know he was ready, Private did the same thing. Shifu snapped his fingers and they went at it. The match lasted a good amount of time and ended when Private manged to knock Po down with one of Skippers favorite moves: Omega Boom! It was the first time he ever tried to do it. Good thing for Po because he didn't execute the move perfectly: Po was still awake, though flat on his back and he got a puff of dust instead of a mushroom cloud of dust. So it was more of an Omega Boo then Boom, but it worked so Private wasn't complaining.

Private took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down and just happened to look past Po and at the wall behind him. Oogway was sitting on the wall watching the training session. Had he been there the whole time? He nodded approvingly at Private, then was gone before he could say anything.

"That was impressive." said Shifu walking over with the others.

"Yeah, I'll say. Where did you learn that?" asked Po as he sat up.

"Skipper, still needs work though." he answered "You OK?"

"Yeah I'll be fine, might need some acupuncture from Mantis later though." said Po as he stretched his shoulder a little. The talk was cut short as Privates stomach growled and he tried to cover it up with his wings. Po smiled at him as he was just reminded of himself. Then Pos stomach growled and he did the same thing. Private grinned at him.

Shifu rolled his eyes looking slightly amused then said "That's enough training for today. You can all do what you like." They bowed to Shifu and he bowed back, then he left to meditate.

"I know, lets get you some of the best food in China." said Po

"Uh, OK." said Private

Po picked him up and put him on his head. "I first class seat for a First Class Private." said Po as he started walking.

"Yay me!" said Private with a laugh. Then he thought "I bet Julian would be really jealous of me right now." When Private saw the stair case that lead down the mountain his beak hung open.

"Everyone makes that face when they see the stairs for the first time." said Tigress

Private shook his head and said "I didn't realize that we were this high up."

"Do you want to take a wok ride down?" asked Po

"Maybe next time. I want to belly slide!" said Private suddenly really excited. Perhaps it was the altitude.

"Belly slide?"

"Could you put me over on the banister?"

"OK." Po did just that and waited for him to do something.

Private took a moment to figure out how he was going to do this and decided that he was going to belly slide where he could and jump where he couldn't. "Watch and learn Dragon Warrior!" Then he was off! (They told him his title before they were found by Shifu, with the intention of telling him about it, but they didn't get that far) Tigress ran on all fours to keep up with him. Po was a bit behind her, trying to keep up and not topple down n the stairs at the same time. It was going fine until he started to go to fast. "Whoa! Not good!" he said

"Tigress get in front of him!" said Po knowing he was in trouble. Po hit the banister he was on hard enough to break it, because he was full of adrenalin, so Private ramped into the air. Po then waved his paw around because it hurt, but surprisingly nothing was broken. The banister would have to be straightened and re-braced. Private opened his wings to slow himself down, then Tigress caught him.

"Whoa, that reminded me of the time when my friends and I were sliding down a huge glacier in Antarctica. Only this time getting caught was a good thing." said Private who was a bit wide eyed from being jacked up on adrenalin like Po.

"Why wasn't it good to get caught?" asked Po who was breathing hard.

"Most of the leopard seals that were chasing us." said Private

"What did you do to them?" asked Tigress

"We didn't really have to do anything. They saw us as good eating."

"Yikes!" said Po

"You don't have to worry about that here." said Tigress putting him on Pos head.

"I didn't think I had to." he said as Po and Tigress started walking again.

"Oh, and Private?" said Tigress Private looked at her. "Don't ever do that again."

"I won't, altitude can have strange effects on a guy."

"Yeah, that's what it was." said Po with a laugh. "Hey, could you tech me how to belly slide?" Tigress snapped her head around and looked at him severally. "On a nice safe grassy hill." he quickly added.

"Sure, if Tigress wants to supervise."

"Well said Private." Tigress said grinning.

They continued on into the village. Po telling Private about when he became The Dragon Warrior, because he asked. Before to long Private noticed that there weren't any humans around, none: "An alternate version of China, obviously." Private thought "With everything going on, I didn't even think about it. Kowalskis gizmo works a 'little' better then even he thought." By the time Po finished his story they had arrived at the restaurant they were headed to.

"Hey Dad! I brought you a new customer!" Po shouted after putting Private onto a table which Tigress sat at.

"You'll like Mr. Ping. Hes pretty nice and hes a really good cook. Po is too of course." explained Tigress Private was surprised when a goose came out of the kitchen. He threw Tigress a questioning look. "He found Po in a radish basket in the back of the shop." she said

"Not bothered, was just a bit confused." he replied

Mr. Ping came over and talked to him while the food was finishing up, after talking to Po. Who came and sat down across from Tigress. Then he went and got it. Three bowls of noodles and some bean buns for them to share. Private offered to do some work around the shop to pay him back, but he said that Po explained about him so he didn't so he didn't have to worry about it. Then he went back to work.

"He doesn't say that very often." said a surprised Tigress

Private shrugged and dug into his food. When he was done Po snuck him a moon cake. "I love sugar!" said Private rubbing his wings together. Po grinned. After he was finished Private just laid on the table full, happy and tired. Po, Mr. Ping and Tigress were happy too. "Before I completely conk out I have a question. I hope you won't take it the wrong way." said Private

"Go ahead." said Po

"Do you guys have, uh, fish in these parts? Because penguins eat fish. We can go off diet, but if we do it for to long we can get sick."

"We can get you some fish. Don't worry about it." said Po

"Cool thanks!" Private then instantly fell asleep, still laying on the table.

**X X X**

After dinner at Head Quarters saw Skipper busy mapping out the city into quadrants to continue the search for Private. Kowalski was laying in his bunk with his back to the room. He was grumpily trying to figure out what went wrong in the lab and why they were unable to find their youngest cadet.

"Is he still in the city or has he been sent to China or something?" thought Kowalski starting to feel a bit guilty.

Rico was at the bottom of the latter with a can of sardines trying to get Kowalski to come down and eat. "Aw! Skipper!" he said finely getting annoyed.

"Do what you got to do Rico." said Skipper without even looking up.

Rico grinned, went up the latter, grabbed Kowalski and poured the sardines right into him. Kowalski swallowed the fish and gave Rico an annoyed look. Rico decided to try to cheer Kowalski up. So he jumped off the latter and did a funny little dance, while making a 'Boop-Boop' noise as music. It worked, Kowalski burst out laughing and so did Skipper. A bonus in Ricos mind.

"Feel better?" said Skipper

Kowalski nodded and said "Hey Rico, make that funny noise again!"

Rico laughed, then went 'Boop-Boop' a few more times.

The two other penguins laughed again then Kowalski burst out with: "That sound gives me an idea!" so loudly and suddenly he made the other two jump. "If you'll let me Skipper, I could take the sonar out of the sub and tweak it before adding it to the gizmo. It might lead us to Private because it would lock onto the gizmos energy!" Skipper and Rico gave him a confused look. "Private was zapped by the machine, thus was charged by its energy. It might work like a tracking device!" Kowalskis sudden excitement made him forget about feeling guilty.

"Well, get on that solider. Rico help him out." said Skipper his face brightening. Rico saluted Skipper just before the two started to head down for the sub.

With Ricos help Kowalski manged to get the sonar out of the sub pretty fast and take it back to the lab. There it was made into something that worked more like a radar tracker. By the time they were done with that it was nearly curfew and they were fading fast. Skipper came in to give them a ten minute warning and saw them like that.

"Halt!" he said sharply. He didn't want either one of them to pass out, particularly Kowalski because of the explosion from before. "Relax boys, Privates survival skills have improved a lot since he got promoted. He'll be fine. I wouldn't be surprised if when we wake up in the morning hes watching the moon horses or doing something that only Young Private does." said Skipper

Rico and Kowalski looked at each other in surprise. Then they looked at Skipper, Rico tilted his head as Kowalski asked "Your not worried about him?"

If he wasn't it would be a huge shock, considering the last time he disappeared, then found to be fine later. Skipper had grabbed and spun him around while yelling: "Your alive!" Then he hugged him really hard and shook him a little saying: "Don't scare me like that ever again! Do you hear me?" he repeated the last sentence three times. Private actually looked a little worried about Skipper, turns out he was trapped in a vending machine with Mort all day and night.

At Kowalskis question he got a very stoic expression on his face that boarded on creepy and said "Well of course I am, but I'm pretty sure that he'll be alright. A friendly ten minute warning of lights out."

"Rodger that Skipper." replied Kowalski

Skipper then turned and started down the hallway. What the other two didn't see is the complete change of expression of his face when it hit him, as in just how worried he actually was. He sighed.

**X X X**

The next morning Private was woken up by a loud gong. He jumped so much he flipped in the hammock he had been sleeping on and faced planted on to the floor. Then he looked around and saw that he was in a small room with paper walls. Pos room to be exact. Po had made him the hammock and put him and it in the corner of the room.

He looked around for a second and said "Good morning Po. Nice action figures."

"You know it!" he said

"What time is it?" asked Private with a yawn.

"Dawn." Po answered

Private was about to say: 'WHAT?' when they both heard "Panda! Wake up!" yelled by Shifu from up the hall.

"He sounds angry." said Private

"Its fine." said Po He picked Private up and put him on his shoulder. Then went out into the hallway. "Sorry Master Shifu. Private looked a little flustered."

"Yeah, I forgot where I was for a second there." said Private

"Oh, well then I will give him a break. Just for today." said Shifu

"Thanks." said Private then they started walking, headed for The Training Yard. "Hey Po, how often do you guys wake up at dawn?" Private whispered

"Most days." he whispered back. "Sometimes when we go out on missions, if its a really hard one, we get to sleep in a little."

"You guys go out on missions?" asked Private

"Yeah, awesome right?"

"Yeah, another thing your team and my team have in common."

"I have a quick question. Were you having a bad dream? Because your wings were twitching until I fell asleep." said Po

"No, I was having a dream that I was training."

"With your team?" asked Po

"With Oogway." said Shifu suddenly.

"How did-?" began Private

Shifu held up a pink petal in two fingers. "Mantis found this outside the door just before you came out." he said

"But I thought he was-"

"You know about spirits don't you Private?" asked Crane

Private nodded, but didn't say anything as the thought of what Skipper refereed to as 'The Darkness Of Madagascar Invasion' crossed his mind.

"He seems to like you." said Viper

"I wonder why because I'm a stranger." replied Private

"Maybe its the mysterious way you turned up." said Po

"Maybe, Mr. Ball Of Fire." said Private Everyone laughed.

"Your pudgy cuteness might have something to do with it too." joked Monkey

Private put on a cute pose, then everyone went: "Aw!"

They went to weapons train in the yard. That's all they did to make up for the day before. Because most of the weapons were to big for him and he didn't want to intrude Private kept to himself most of the time and practiced his moves.

After lunch Mantis passed him a Bow Staff (the Chinese equivalent to a Kendo Stick) and asked "So, did Oogway help you out with Omega Boom?"

"No, just polishing my other moves and balancing techniques mostly." said Private

"Do you fall over a lot?" said Mantis as they started to slowly got at each other with their Bow Staffs.

"No, but learning those techniques will help boost my speed a bit."

"Sounds good."

"Yeah, Skippers going to like that."

After training was over Po gave him a tour of the grounds, ending at the peach tree: "Oh, so those are the kind of petals we keep finding." said Private

"Correct! We come up here all the time. Oogway did too." said Po as he did some ti-chi.

"Not surprising, nice view from up here."

"Yes, the peaches are pretty good too. Say after this do you want to play with my action figures?"

"Yeah! I've been itching to since this morning."

"Cool, you can use the Crane figure since your so good at it!"

Private laughed.

**X X X**

It had been a week and Private still hadn't been found. Fortunately for Kowalski he didn't have to deal with Skipper, Rico did. When the two of them went to search the city with some out of the zoo help from Kitka and Moon Cat. (A.K.A. Max) Kowalski spent most of the time in the lab, tweaking and repairing (from the explosion) his machine. Apparently Skipper was driving Rico crazy, not that Rico wasn't worried sick about Private because he was. So it was kind of a good thing that the two were always exhausted when they got back. The bad part was that they were starting to run out of city and Kowalski was starting to run out of patience or was it sanity? This gizmo was really starting to get to him

That is until: "This is the last Macguffium two-thirty-nine that I have!" he said installing it. Then suddenly: 'Boop-Boop'! Kowalski spun around so fast that he fell over. Then he looked up at the radar screen. "I got him." he whispered to himself. "I found him!" he then screeched, his voice super high.

"You found him? Where is he?" Skipper yelled accidentally, suddenly in the lab. Kowalski blinked at him, he hadn't got a good look at him in a week. He was a wreck! Rico, who was right behind him, didn't look much better.

Kowalski shook his head and said "Hes in the park."

"Duck pond?" asked Skipper

"Snow cone stand."

"Perfect, move out team!" and off the three of them went to get their friend and maybe even some snow cones. They were surprised when they got there and he was still M.I.A..

"But-but-but!" stuttered Kowalski

"Here comes the guilt again!" Rico said to Skipper so fast it came out all garbled. Unlike Skipper, Rico had been peeking in on Kowalski from time to time. Not only could he tell by his body language, but he had been quietly berating himself while working on his gizmo. Rico felt sorry for him.

"Simmer down Kowalski. Hes probably on his way home. Lets call up Marlene and have her check your gizmo." said Skipper Rico nodded and hacked up a walkie talkie. Marlene was practicing her guitar when she heard the walkie talkie Rico gave her during the week go off: "This is Penguin Leader to Lady Otter, come in!"

Marlene dove on the walkie and said "Hey Skipper, did you find him?"

"Most likely, can you check the radar screen to see where he is now?"

"I'm on it!" She went to the lab a looked at the screen. She saw the blip that was Private and saw that he was headed for the duck pond. Marlene reported this Skipper. He told her to stay there and report anymore movement. Which there was, soon after they arrived at the duck pond and saw that he wasn't there Marlene reported that he was now at Julians place.

"How is he moving that fast?" asked Skipper

"Hes staying away because hes mad at me." said Kowalski looking sad. Rico patted him on the shoulder.

"Nah, Miss Kitka must have found him and they are looking for us. She doesn't have a walkie remember?" said Skipper

"Oh right!" said Kowalski Rico smiled.

Skipper then turned back to his walkie and said "Marlene, has he moved?"

"No." she replied

"Good! Keep on him. Boys we are headed for Ring tails!" They then took off in that direction via single file belly slides behind Skipper. When they got to the lemurs place they searched it form top to bottom. Rico even checked under the bouncy.

"I cannot be believing this!" said Julian when he figured out what the penguins were doing. "You still haven't found Private?"

"Not yet, but we will Ring tail! We will!" yelled Skipper grabbing and shaking Julian. Julian just stared at him. Skipper let go of him and went to sit at the Tiki Bar next to a depressed looking Kowalski. Who was thinking that his gizmo was defective. He didn't seem to want to look at any of them let alone talk.

Skipper was about to give him a pep talk when he said "I'm going to bed." He then got up and left.

"Is he alright?" Maurice asked

"He feels bad about Private." was all Skipper would say.

Marlene had left the lab for a minute to visit (since she was in their HQ) 'the little penguins room'. When she went back in to check Privates position, she saw that he was entering the HQ. She ran out of the lab to see him and saw Kowalski coming down the latter. He stopped when he saw her.

"Hey Kowalski." she said

"Hi." he said

"Go ahead and vent. You'll feel better. Like I did about that walrus Ronda that time."

He blinked, then: "Private was helping me with that gizmo and because of my negligence he got hurt! Being blasted by electricity is not fun, trust me. Then he got teleported to who knows where! Who knows if we are going to even find him! He probably scared and alone right now and its all my fault!" With that he swung himself into the top bunk with his back to the room again.

Marlene stood there and calmly asked "There, feel better now?"

"Yes!" he said in a high pitched voice.

"Good." said Marlene She then climbed up the latter so she was right next to Kowalski, patted him on the back and said "I'll keep the boys out of HQ for a while."

"I owe you you one." he replied She then left the HQ

**X X X**

Throughout the week training at The Jade Palace had slowed to a stop. The Five ad Po had missions to do. That being said not all of them had been out all at the same time so Private got to spend sometime with all of them. Just yesterday in fact he had spent the day with Crane. Crane let him ride on his back as he flew everywhere: first to the noodle shop for a visit, then to the river for a fish run. Then they went to the peach tree and ate their fish picnic style. After that they went back into The Jade Palace, where Private hung out in Pos room. Though it was fun he preferred training in a certain way. When they were training he didn't have time to miss the zoo so much, not that he didn't like it here, but it wasn't home.

During the night he was still training with Oogway so it wasn't so bad and Po gave him permission to play with his action figures even when he wasn't there. He didn't do that very often. He just told Private that he had to be careful with them. One day Shifu asked him to train with him. So he could see how he had improved over the week. He had improved so much they were both surprised. His moves were more precise then they had ever been and his speed had gone up a great amount. Partly because of The Training Hall, the fire tubes in particular, and partly because of the 'dream training' with Oogway. "Do you think that's weird?" Private had asked, speaking of that training as he was training with Shifu.

"Not at all. Though it has never happened to me or the others, I have heard of it happening in the past." Shifu had answered.

Private had thought that was good to know. "So why do you suppose Oogway likes me?"

"He must have his reasons. He can be very mysterious when he wants to be. Uh, -that came out kind of wrong!"

"I know what you mean." Private reassured him. "Speaking of Oogway." Private had then said very quietly. He didn't want to make a big deal about him sitting on the wall behind Shifu because he didn't want him to take off in a flurry of pink yet again. Private found it annoying that he kept doing that. Shifu of course heard him and quickly snapped his head around and saw him. "Ha! Caught you!" Private had thought. Oogway smiled an Shifu and came down off the wall. Then the two of them started to do ti-chi. Private figured that it was their thing and happily left them alone. He hung out with Viper for the rest of the day.

Today he had been just wandering around The Jade Palace, checking it out when Tigress found him near Shifus room: "You weren't planning on going in there were you?" she asked

Private shrugged: "Whats in there?"

"That's Shifus room."

"Oh, off limits then." said Private backing away from the door.

Tigress grinned then asked "Want to train?"

"Sure."

That's how Zang the duck had found them in the yard, training. For some reason Tigress was hung up on Private perfecting Omega Boom. Zang had a message from Shifu: "Tigress you have a mission! Shifu has the details. Hes at the peach tree."

"Right!" she said about to bolt for said location when she saw Private land after another failed attempt at a perfect Omega Boom. "Hey Private, want to come?"

"Yeah!" Now he knew how Skipper felt when there wasn't any action filled missions to do, edgy. No wonder he couldn't sit still. He never thought he would understand Skipper in this particular fashion, but he did now and he kind of liked it.

"There you are Tigress -Young Private?" Shifu lifted an eyebrow when he saw him. Private shrugged. "There is a large farm just out side The Valley Of Peace and a bit downstream. Its being threatened by a pack of wolves of an unknown number and some very big pigs. A friend of the families whose a duck passed that information and this -(he handed Tigress a map)- on to me. The duck flew here and is now resting inside." explained Shifu

"Understood Master Shifu." said Tigress

"I'll send word of where your going down into the village so the others will know just in case." he said then turned to look at Private, who gave him big doe eyes. Kind of like Mort only it wasn't in a sad face, though he would pull that out of his feathery sleeve if he had to. "Do you wish to go?" Private nodded. "As you wish."

"Yay!" said Private with a joyful jump into the air. Tigress struggled to suppress a grin.

"Just one condition though." continued Shifu

"Yes?"

"Your barred from using 'Cute Style'!"

"I suppose I could do that." Private replied Shifu grinned then silently signaled them to move out, reminding Private of Skipper again. They bowed to Shifu, then Tigress picked Private up, put him on he shoulder and took off on all fours to go faster.

"You just endeared yourself to everyone didn't you?" asked Tigress

"Yeah, its kind of my thing." Private replied

For reasons only known to himself Rico wouldn't stop running through the the long TV show list on the TiVo. Skipper tried to get the remote off him, but he pushed him away and barked: "Trust me!" Then he looked at Kowalski in a pointed way.

"Fine."said Skipper and went over to try to get Kowalski down from his bunk. He had been up there all day and only came down for bathroom trips. Every time he did Rico would make him choke down some fish. They had left him alone for a while, assuming he'd come down on his own, but he hadn't. "Come on Kowalski, get your feathered butt down here, pronto!" ordered Skipper (Who heard Rico laugh and say "Skipper said butt!" as he continued to look for his show) Kowalski however didn't say anything. "You sure you don't want to come down? Your science do-dads and whatchamacallits are feeling so lonely that even I can hear them. They are saying: 'Come one Skipper get Kowalski out of bed so he can come and play with us'!" said Skipper He put on a high pitched girly voice when he was pretending to be the things from the lab. Rico snorted.

Kowalski just sighed and said "I'm to sad to science."

Skipper blinked, even after Doris The Dolphin gave him the 'I Just Want To Be Friends Speech' sixteen and a half times he wasn't to sad to try to build something to change that. A prime example of that would be 'The Love You Laser'. Skipper didn't know what to say. Good thing for him then that Rico found the show that he was looking for. Skipper turned to look and Kowalski was curious so he sat up.

It was the season two ender of the anime Sonic X. (Sonic, as in Sonic The Hedgehog) The one where they had to send Sonic and his friends from earth, back to their own planet. The viewers find out in that one that the hedgehogs planet and earth are starting to merge and when they do time will stop, but that wasn't the part that Rico kept rewinding and replaying. It was the dialog that says that earth and Sonics planet occupy the same time and place in space, but reside in two different dimensions. Rico thought of this when Kowalski had told him, on his way back from a bathroom run because he asked, what the gizmo was supposed to do. He easily put this together with what Skipper had said about the it before. That's when it hit Kowalski.

"Eureka!" he shouted Then he got so jittery that he lost his balance and fell right on top of Skipper. He got up quickly and pulled Skipper to his feet. Then he hugged Rico and said "Your a genius!" and darted into the lab. Rico had a knowing grin on his face, while Skipper was stunned. That was a new one! The explosion loving penguin then motioned him into the lab. So in they went. They saw Kowalski setting up visual aids to help explain what was figured out, but in his excitement he knocked them down again. Then he decided to dispense with the technical jargon and just tell Skipper what Rico had already figured out, then helped him to.

"This radar screen is showing where he would be if he was in this dimension. But hes not, hes in a dimension that is basically right next door. Like on Sonic X. That's why he appeared to be at places here, but when we went there he wasn't." said Kowalski Rico nodded.

"So what your saying is that if the screen says hes at Ring tails then he is in the location that's in the same place on the dimensional map, but in that worlds location not ours. Right?" asked Skipper

"Pretty much." said Kowalski leaning on the wall grinning. It was the first time he did something like that in days.

"So, I was right when I said that its a teleporter, its just not the type I thought it was." said Skipper

"I was so close to the project that I didn't see it! Thankfully Rico did." said Kowalski giving Rico a pat on the back. Rico got a funny bashful look on his face, making Kowalski grin again.

"Speaking of being to close to the project, what does it mean when the radar screen turns red?" asked Skipper with a wing on Ricos shoulder. He had been about to tell Rico that he did a good job when he noticed that the radar screen had gone from green to red.

"That means that Private is out of range for the units teleportation capabilities." replied Kowalski

"Oh well, lets build an attachment to the gizmo that will hold a portal. Like the Chronotron did."

"Why?" asked Kowalski tilting his head at Skipper.

"Well, we don't have anything else to do while we wait for him to come back within range. Besides it will most likely be more gentle then getting zapped back here. Not to mention he has probably made friends with the people there so we don't want to freak them out." said Skipper

"Good points. Endearing himself to others is kind of his thing." said Kowalski Skipper and Rico grinned. Then the three started to work on the new addition to the gizmo.

"By the way Rico, how did you figure this out?" Kowalski asked

Rico grinned and said "Ancient Chinese Secret!" The three of them then burst out laughing for only the second time since Private vanished.

**X X X**

The team of Tigress and Private were still making their way to the farm that was under threat. Private was currently racing Monkey through the trees by jumping from tree branch to tree branch. He and Po had joined them as they were making their way through the village.

"How are you able to jump branches like this?" asked Monkey

"Like I mentioned, I have lemurs as neighbors." Private answered

"What is a lemur anyway?" asked Po

"A smaller species of primate that live in trees in the jungles of Madagascar." began Private

"You can finish your lesson on lemurs later. We are almost there." said Tigress as she checked the map. The two tree hoppers looked at each other.

"I underestimated you." said Monkey

Private grinned and thought "Someone has a competitive side."

"Re-match on the way back?"

"Your on Monkey!" The two then jumped of their tree branches. Monkey to the ground, Private to Pos shoulder.

"Nice of you to drop in Private." said Po grinning. He then turned to Tigress and asked "What do they grow at the farm that we are headed to?"

"Healing plants mostly. Aside from their own food of course." She pointed at a note on the edge of the map Po read it to Private without even thinking about it.

"Healing plants?" asked Private

"Herbs and such that would be mixed together to help with injuries and ailments." answered Tigress

They walked for a little while longer then came upon the farm, near the farm house. It was a wreck: windows were smashed, boards were ripped out, carts and tools were smashed. Some of the crops of healing plants were even burned. It was a small family of pigs. A set of parents and a half grown piglet. They were milling around trying to clean up. When they saw Po and two members of The Five they rushed over and started talking all at once.

"Calm down guys, come on!" said Po Not that it worked.

"Po, cover your ears." said Private He did and Private let out a loud screech. Tigress and Monkey actually jumped. The family of pigs went quite.

"I didn't know that you could do that." said Po

"Just a little trick I picked up from Rico." Private replied He got that trick after Rico had demolished Julians habitat. He had just busted through the wall and he let out a screech like that. Right after that they put the bouncy over him until he calmed down and went to sleep.

"Alright, so what happened?" asked Tigress

The father answered: "We were just minding our crops when these three Huge boars came out of the forest and said that we were going to help them get The Dragon Warrior. They started off by breaking some of our tools and carts. That's when our friend flew for The Jade Palace. Then they came back and did this. We are scared that they are going to come back again."

"Also, the last attack scared our little sister. She ran into the woods and I can't find her." said the oldest of the three piglets. The one that was there when they arrived was the middle piglet.

"I'll look for her while you settle things here or get them packed to leave. Whatever the plan is." said Private Then he jumped off Pos shoulder.

"I agree with the cute little bird. When he gets back with our littlest one we should leave. If that's alright with the rest of you." said the mother Everyone nodded.

"Alright then, I'll be right back." said Private He then belly slid away. He looked around the woods for a while, until he found a trail of little hoof marks. Obviously the oldest piglet didn't have any tracking experience. Not that Private had a lot, but he had enough. The thing that he found odd was the weird pattern in the ground right next to the trail. It was like someone had dragged a rake behind them. He didn't like the look of that and his guard went up. He couldn't help thinking: "What would Skipper do?" Then of course he thought that he knew what Skipper would do. He would send an armed Rico to go and scope out the area, then ask Kowalski for options. Private shook his head and forced himself to concentrate on what was going on. "Calm down Private! You have to do this yourself." He went into stealth mode and carefully followed the trail. It was kind of tough for him to, as Skipper might say 'watch his perimeter'. Which was Skipper speak for basically making sure he wasn't being followed. It was tough because this forest was a lot thicker then central park. He had to make a mental note of that to tell Skipper when he got back. He of course knew that he would get back, he just didn't know when.

He followed the trail up to a tree that had a hollow in it. Curled up inside the hollow was the one he was looking for. He smiled at her, but she still seemed reluctant to come out. "Now, what is that thing that Oogway likes to call me? Oh yeah!" Private thought before saying: "Come on out Young One. Its alright, I'm going to take you to The Dragon Warrior and his friends. Your family will be there too."

"Dragon Warrior?" she asked

"Yup, I'm a friend of his." Private held out his wing.

"OK." She climbed out of the hollow, took his wing and then they walked back. The little piglet ran right to her parents then to Po.

"Cute!" said Private as he walked over. The little piglet wanted Po to pick her up.

Which he did when he saw Private motion for them to start walking. Po could tell that he thought something might happen. (it was because of the rake pattern) "Alright, lets head back." he said Then they all headed for the path. The family of pigs were going to stay in The Valley Of Peace until it was safe to go home.

They were at the tree line when some wolves and three huge pigs jumped out of the woods to their side. Private couldn't help but take a second to think how weird it looked. Three pigs with a pack of wolves, wow. He shook his head and shouted "I thought so!"

"No wonder you were motioning for us to go. Well called Private." said Tigress

"I didn't want to scare the family. That's why I didn't say anything."

"Monkey, take the family and go!" shouted Po He passed the littlest piglet to him and they ran into the woods.

"We are going to get you Panda! We -wait, what is that?" the biggest of the three pigs was advancing as he was talking, noticed Private standing in front of Po and stopped to stare at him.

Po grinned and asked "Hey Private, what would Skipper do right about now?"

Private grinned and said "He'd yell: 'ENGAGE'!" Which is exactly what they did. Tigress took down two of the wolves in one attack and Po belly bumped one into a tree. Private made two knock each other out by jumping on their shoulders, the two of them ended up swinging at each other. Private of course easily dodged and landed on the ground with perfect form.

"Nice going!" said Po

Private grinned.

"Are you sure about that?" asked the largest pig holding up the littlest piglet. Then he ran in the direction of the high cliff over the river that they saw on the map. The other two pigs going with him.

Po growled and yelled "Get back here!" and ran after them. Private and Tigress were right behind him. They all got there and the big pigs turned around.

"You want her, take her!" He then threw her at Po, who ran forward to catch her. Then he realized something.

Private saw what that something was when he saw what the pig threw hit the ground: "A decoy?" he yelled The three of them then spun around and saw a lot more wolves and these ones were armed with swords.

"Private I'm curious, what would Skipper do now?" asked Tigress

"Probably shout: 'Rico light them up!' Then there would be a bunch of explosions. Then he'd yell: 'Private, Kowalski on me' and we would knock the rest of the out before the smoke cleared." Private quickly answered.

"Well it looks like we will have to skip to the last part. Lets go!" shouted Po as the three giant pigs shouted "Attack!"

Private was nervous about the swords at first, but then he saw that most of them were not of the quality of The Sword Of Heroes. They were so badly made that if they got hit in just right place they would break. Po and Tigress got a hold of some of the better ones and used them until they either broke or got lost. The first happening more often. Private used some of the broken ones in pin the wolves to trees and things like that.

At one point Po was fighting someone and one of the big pigs tried to get him from behind, with a really elaborate Kung Fu move. "Po look out!" shouted Tigress she then got pulled into another small fight. Po knocked his opponent out and spun around in time to see Private jump up onto his shoulder and chop him in the neck, knocking him out in classic Team Penguin fashion.

"Sweet move!" shouted Po Then he got tackled by two more wolves and they went flying into the woods. Private was about to jump in and help him, but a wolf with a bamboo staff came and swung it at him. Though Private dodged a bunch of times he was eventually hit and he went over the cliff. The two remaining pigs saw a flash of black and white go over and assumed it was Po.

"That panda won't get away!" said the bigger of the two

"But he went over the cliff-" began the other one

"I won't be satisfied until I either get him or know for a fact that he has been got!" the first interrupted Then they started to search the river for signs that he was down there.

Tigress, who had seen Private go flying, looked over where she had seen him last and saw him standing on a small ledge not all that far down. He had his back flat against the rock face. "Private!" said Tigress He looked up.

"Close one." he said

"Come on up." Tigress reached down to try to get him. He reached up, but neither of them could reach. Even after Private stood on tiptoe. He jumped to try to get Tigress catch him. She missed and he landed back on his little ledge. Which broke and he started 'rock face surfing' towards the river.

"Private!" she yelled before she could stop herself.

"What?" shouted the two the pigs at the same time.

"I got an idea! If we get that black and white bird we will get the panda!" said the smaller of the two

"Yeah, lets go!" The two ran off, a ton of wolves going with them.

"Po!" Tigress shouted as she went for the woods.

Po had just defeated his two opponents. He looked up at Tigress. She looked freaked out. "What happened?" Po asked

"Private went over the cliff and the two pigs are going after him to get to you!" she answered

"We have to find him before they do!" said Po

By the time Private hit the river he was slowed down to the speed of a hard belly flop. That's because after he was finished 'rock face surfing' he went through a series of branches that grew out of the cliff. He wasn't able to secure himself, but he was fine when he hit the water. Then he got swept away by the current. He didn't fight it, he swam with it and caught some fish along the way.

Once the current had calmed down to an even kind of flow Private flouted on his back and waited for the banks to become low enough so he could climb out. He mostly stared up at the sky and wondered what the rest of the team was doing. Whatever it was he could imagine Julian driving Skipper crazy and possibly Marlene trying to calm them down. His thoughts amused him a lot. He wasn't worried about getting back to The Jade Palace either. He pretty much knew that The Dragon Warrior and Tigress would look for him. He was in the middle of reviewing some of the 'dream training' sessions that he had with Oogway and wondering again why he liked him when he was suddenly swept up in looked like and was a very strong fishing net.

"Oh, whats this?" said the female snow leopard that was holding the net.

"A penguin named Private." said Private

"Sorry about that. We were just trying to catch our dinner." she said letting him out of the net.

"Where did you come from?" asked who Private assumed was her husband because he saw a couple of cubs running around. They were cute.

"The Jade Palace." was the only thing he felt he should say.

They got all excited and started asking him questions like: "Do you know The Dragon Warrior." - "What's he like?" - "What about The Furious Five?" - "Is Tigress really as mean as they say?" - "does Monkey really like playing jokes on people?" and so on. He answered all of their questions until they finally got tired.

"I'm guessing you guys are fans." he said grinning.

They nodded.

"Well, today might be your lucky day. They are most likely going to come looking for me, so you could meet two of them." said Private The parents and some of the cubs who were listening got very excited. Private smiled and let them enjoy the news for a minute before he pretty much burst their bubble: "The 'slight' down side of them coming to get me is that there are some people that are after our favorite panda."

"Well, we should help him somehow when they get here!" said one of the cubs

"Probably but how?" said the parents at the same time.

Private looked at the fishing nets for a moment and thought "What would Kowalski do?" Then it hit him. He grinned and said "I might have an idea!"

Later, the snow leopard family and Private were inside their house having dinner when they heard: Pa-tang, whoosh, and a few shouted 'Whops!' happen in succession.

"Sounds like your plan worked Private!" said one of the cubs They all went outside and saw that a large amount of wolves were hanging in the improvised fishing net traps that they set up.

"Wait!" said the father "Why would they get here before The Dragon Warrior?"

"They maybe coming after me to get to Po!" said Private suddenly thinking like Skipper for the first time ever or was it one of his enemies? That's when he realized that the three big pigs were not in any of their net traps. "Everyone get back inside! Quick!" he shouted

Most of them ran back in, but the mother stopped and asked "What are you going to do?"

"Distract them until The Dragon Warrior shows up." Private answered He then motioned her to get in side, which she did. Private was correct in his thought that more bad guys were on the way. Two of the big pigs and a bunch more wolves were right there in about two minutes.

"Your coming with us little bird!" said the larger of the pigs

"Fine, but you'll have to catch me first!" said Private and he took off. He got into the back yard and became surrounded. Private wasn't all that worried though. About half of the wolves fell into the pitfall traps he and the cubs dug earlier. "All that work on our tunnel system has finally paid off!" thought Private grinning. He was also doing a good job at dodging and landing attacks with his newly found speed. Sadly his luck ran out as the smaller of the pigs kicked him into a tree. He was alright, but the wind was knocked out of him.

"Your coming with us, awake or not!" he said pulling his fist back to punch Private. Then someone tapped him on the shoulder and to Privates amazement, he spun around. Then he got punched and he hit the ground out cold.

"Po!" shouted Private

"Hey P.F.C. -(actually stands for Private First Class)- You look like you could use some back up!" said Po

"Sweet timing!" said Private

"Yeah, Tigress and I got a way about us!" The two warriors of black and white then went into the fight to give Tigress a hand. The fight then started to turn in the good guys favor when Po and Tigress, who were back to back, accidentally tripped the last of the net traps! "Oh, this is bad!" said Po

"What is this a fishing net?" said Tigress

"We have to get out of here!" said Po as the armed enemy started to surround and close in on them.

"I'll use my claws!" said Tigress as she began to saw through the net.

"No time!" said a worried looking Po as Private realized that they, as in the bad guys, had forgotten all about him.

He of course used this to his advantage: "Well, I'm barred from using 'Cute Style'!" thought Private with a grin that made him look a bit evil.

It took a second for the netted two to realize what the young penguin was doing, but when they did they both shouted "Yeah! Do it Private!" At the same time just before he unleashed a perfect Omega Boom! Either the enemy was out cold or they had the wind knocked out of them so bad they couldn't move.

"I think Skipper is going to be proud of that because I sure am!" said Tigress

"Yeah! And don't forget Oogway and Shifu too!" said Po Private grinned and took a knife off of one of the wolves belts and cut them down by throwing it at the very to of the trap. Tigress did a flip and landed on her feet. Po just fell and landed on his butt. Private had the grace of trying not to look to amused. After they had tied up all the wolves that were in the pit traps and the father of the family volunteered to take them to prison Tigress and Po got to sign some autographs for the family. Just before they left Private pulled out a folded piece of paper from his feathers and asked too.

"OK." They both said and unfolded the paper to see everyone else (including Oogways somehow) signatures there too.

"Oh, he is good!" said Po as he signed the paper and passed it to Tigress who laughed and signed too. Then they gave it back, said goodbye to the snow leopard family and headed back to The Valley Of Peace.

"I'm in the mood for a moon cake. How about you Po?" said Private

"You read my mind man!" Po replied

"You two have been spending to much time together!" said Tigress

They laughed and said "I'm so glad you noticed!"

**X X X**

Skipper, Kowalski and Rico had finished the portal containment unit, as Kowalski called it, a while ago and took to sitting in the lab in a circle with a can of sardines in the middle.

"I'm telling you, I'm starting to miss those TV moon horses with Private sitting there watching them." said Skipper as he picked up a sardine and gulped it down.

"Didn't you call them 'touchy, fee-lily propaganda' once?" asked Kowalski

"Yeah, I'm kind of regretting that now." Skipper answered

"Well, I'm starting to miss that ever cheerful spark he always seems to have." said Kowalski

"Yeah." grunted Rico "And his cute poses!" Rico then got up and did a couple of Privates trade mark poses.

Then he kind of sagged when all three of them said "Not the same." at the same time and sighed. Rico had just sat back down when the radar screen made a 'ding' sound and turned from red to green.

"Bingo! We got him! Hes back in range." said Kowalski excitedly pointing at it.

"Alright!" said the other two

"It will take a few minutes to get the gizmo out of of stand by mode, but the more within range he is the better." said Kowalski Because of their extra additions the way the machine worked now is the portal would not open unless the subject (Private) was within a certain range. It relied on the energy that the subject was charged with on the out going trip to track him. The three got up and got to work.

**X X X**

True to their word about wanting moon cakes Private and Po dragged Tigress to the noodle shop. They were surprised to see that the rest of The Five and Shifu were there. They looked up when they came in.

"What are you guys all doing here?" asked Po Most of them shrugged.

"We all came here when we got back from our missions. As for Shifu." said Crane with another shrug.

"I haven't been down here in a while." said Shifu

"Just seemed like the thing to do today?" asked Private

Shifu nodded. Then Po, Private and Tigress split a bunch of moon cakes with the others and they exchanged the days mission stories for a while.

That is until: "Master Shifu, there is something strange happening at the bottom of The Jade Palace staircase!" Zang shouted from the door suddenly. Private found himself grinning and Shifu spotted him.

"I have a strange feeling that you know what that is." said Shifu

Private shrugged: "I might."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Lets check it out!" said Mantis

So they did, when they got there they saw that the air seemed to be sparking: "Don't see that everyday." said Po Then the air and sparks seemed to twist and what looked like a little circle shaped door appeared. It was looking into a little gray room.

"I thought so." said Private of course recognizing Kowalskis lab.

"Young Private, do you know what that is?" asked Shifu

"Yup, it looks like I'm headed home gang!" he replied Then to his surprise Kowalski came tumbling out.

He looked back at the portal and said "Oh, come on guys you didn't have to throw me!" Private made himself laugh quietly.

"What did you say?" asked Skipper as he and Rico poked their heads into the portal.

"I said 'Oh, come on guys you didn't have to throw me!'." Repeated Kowalski rubbing his backside.

Skipper and Rico snorted, then Skipper said "Oh because for a minute there it sounded like you were speaking Chinese."

"But we are speaking Chinese." said Po with a shrug. The three penguins looked up at him and tilted their heads. Then looked at the others.

"It looks like your gizmo works better then anyone would have thought, Kowalski! It even tweaks your brain so you can speak the native language of the place your visiting and I didn't even realize it!" said Private That's when his team saw him.

"Private!" they all shouted, then they ran over and got him into an almost hollow bone crunching group hug.

"Aw!" said everyone else

After-wards: "Guys, this is my team-" Private then made all the introductions. Skipper seemed to like the fact that Shifu called him 'Young Private' too.

They talked for a while then Tigress said "Hey, are you going to tell them what happened on our mission today?"

"Mission?" said Rico

"Of course, but I have to save something for the road don't I?" said Private with a wink.

"Oh, some suspense. I like it!" said Skipper Everyone grinned. "Well, its time for us to get going." Skipper continued while patting Private on the shoulder. Team Penguin then bowed to The Five, Po and Shifu, they bowed back and then the penguins moved over to the portal.

"Hey P.F.C.!" Po called Private and the others turned. "You coming back for a visit, because you owe me a wok ride, Monkey a tree branch hopping rematch and you never got around to teaching me how to belly slide."

Private glanced at Kowalski, who nodded, before answering: "Yeah, I'll be back. Don't worry." Then the wind blew and Private caught some of the peach blossom petals that were drifting by. "Cool, Oogway came to see me off!" said Private looking in the direction that the wind was coming from.

"Uh, Private? Its a bunch of flower -" began Kowalski

"As Skipper might say, 'don't ruin the moment with your gibber-jabber'." said Private gently holding his beak shut while Skipper grinned. "And besides!" He nodded at the nearest building to them. To which everyone looked: On the roof top was Master Oogway. He winked at Private and he winked back. Then he disappeared in a flurry of pink petals. Three out of the four penguins were stunned. "By the way Master Shifu, I left you alone with him the other day. Did you ever find out why he likes me so much?" Private quickly asked.

"Yes as it turns out, besides liking you as you, you remind him of me when I was young." Shifu answered

All of his students looked at him in surprise. Then they all said "That's awesome!" at the same time. Private and Shifu then shared a jumping into the air type of high five and his students were again amazed! Po so much so that he fainted. Private waved then turned and left with his team just after he popped back up again.

When they were back in the lab: "What was the name you came up for this thing?" Kowalski asked Private suddenly curious. Skipper and Rico tilted their heads.

"I don't think 'Interdenominational Telephone' befits this thing anymore." he answered grinning.

***The End***

_Authors Note:__ Well there you have it, the first true Panda/Penguins crossover! I say 'true' because not long before I released this I read one that was classified as such, but was more like a meeting of various Dream Works characters. It even had Puss In Boots! Not that the story was bad, I found it quite funny. Its just that nothing story-Esq happened, but full props to that writer. Also, that reference to a Darkness Of Madagascar Invasion, for those who don't know it was a take on a title of another story of mine. The real title is The Darkness Of Madagascar Invades. Also, you may have noticed the rather obvious reference to the Panda episode The Ghost Of Oogway. (One of my faves, by the way) This story takes place right after that, hence the reference. Now that that's out of the way, bring the reviews (not the flames) on! And of course the disclaimer that I put down here because I can: I don't own The Penguins Of Madagascar or Kung Fu Panda. Dream Works/Nickelodeon does.~_

_~Over & Out~ _


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